The Freshmen
by ray4ruffles
Summary: SongFic/future fic: Rachel and Puck never imagined that, with their choices, this would be where their paths led.  Based on "The Freshman" Verve Pipe. Puckleberry with previously est Finnchel/Pelby. mentions of abortion, drug use, attempted suicide.
1. Stop a Baby's Breath & a Shoeful of Rice

**A/N: When I found out Finn was proposing to Rachel last night (via spoilers), I was irritated. Not because I hate Finnchel (though I'm not really a fan) but I just don't think teenagers think about everything that goes with marriage: jobs, insurance, housing, etc, and I just wanted ~for once~ for the writers to be realistic about something so serious as marrying someone right out of high school. **

**I wrote a three-part/verse SongFic based off of the song "The Freshman" by Verve Pipe, because this is how I see Finnchel happening if Rachel says yes, and I threw in Pelby as kind of a counterbalance. I'll admit, it's kind of depressing, but so is the song.**

**A/A/N: This is established Finnchel and Pelby (so Puck and Shelby didn't get outted or break up during Sectionals)**

**A/A/N: Mentions abortion- this is not a pro-life/choice discussion board, so if you don't like it, just go somewhere else.  
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><p>It was a cold day in Ohio. The snow had just started sticking to the ground, causing everything to turn a greyish-white as the world fought from being overcome with frost. Rachel looked up at the sky as she exited the driver's side of her seat and wondered if there would be a storm soon.<p>

The apartment she entered looked empty: the lights were off, even with the promise of an early dusk, and it was almost silent as she hung up her coat and purse. Yet she knew better than to trust how things looked at first glance.

The tiny brunette walked quietly through the living room into the hall, finally stopping at the bedroom in the back, furniture covered in sheets and walls inexpertly painted a bright yellow. She felt a quiet stab in her gut as she saw dozens of glow-in-the-dark stars stuck to the wall.

And sitting in a second-hand rocking chair, staring out the window into the cold, was the love of her life.

"I wanted to get these up," he told her, staring at the leftover stars in his hand. "In case you changed your mind."

Her heart broke again as he said the words. When she had first told him she was pregnant, he had been so excited, so happy for a kid of his own. He'd promised her that he'd ask Burt for more hours, that he'd cut back on everything, that they'd truly be happy. It had killed her to tell him what she had wanted, what she'd spent hours of deliberating over when she'd first realized the possibility.

Finn had reacted in typical fashion—he'd been angry, then spent the last two weeks trying to convince her that her fears were wrong, that they could be a family, could make it work. He'd taken to decorating the guest room with stuffed toys and hand-me-down furniture, and apparently had painted while she was gone.

But he hadn't come with her to the two doctor's visits she'd had beforehand. Wouldn't come to the counseling sessions she scheduled (one by law, the second because she'd cried so hard at the first over his not supporting her, not understanding her, that the doctor gave her the pamphlets and told her she should talk to him again and reschedule). And he certainly hadn't come with her today.

Couldn't, he'd told her. The hardest decision of her life, and he couldn't stand by her.

But that was how it had been for a while, she'd realized as she watched him stare down at the star. Her dreams had remained pushed aside, but still burning bright, and his dreams had ambled to a stutter, causing him to cling to this new idea with all of the strength he'd had.

Rachel Berry wanted a family, she really did—but she wanted to live first. She wanted to try her hand at auditioning for theater, even if it was just the Columbus Troupe. She wanted to finish college. Hell, she just wanted to drink legally. And when she sat down, looking at the life she'd chosen maybe a little too hastily, she realized even with Finn, whom she truly did love, this wasn't the life she wanted yet.

"Finn," she finally said, quietly, apologetically—in the truest of Un-Rachel Berry fashions, but somewhat consistently as Rachel Hudson.

He sniffled quietly and she took another step toward him, reaching out to touch his arm. He jerked violently, pulling himself out of her reach as if she were the Angel of Death (which maybe wasn't so off), and looked back out the window.

"I called Mr—Will," he told her. He still wasn't used to calling his "best friend" by his first name. "He's coming by today again to help put stuff together."

"What stuff?" Rachel asked, confused.

Finn turned to her, eyes angry and red with crying. "_My_ stuff—I'm going to live with him and Ms Pills—Emma for a while. I think it would be best if no one was here." Brown eyes looked at her pointedly, and the synapses in Rachel's brain finally picked up the missing pieces.

"Wait; you want to…divorce?" she could barely get the words out. Melodramatic to the last, the tiny brunette still couldn't understand how everything had fallen apart between them so suddenly.

"You never listen Rachel; you don't care about my opinion at all," he told her. "Not about where we live, or what I want—"

She shook her head hard, her dramatic side taking the forefront as she found herself breaking apart at his words. Her more practical side, however small and pushed to the back of her mind, was babbling in incredulity against his argument: she'd paid so much attention to the houses he'd loved that were so far out of their budget so that she could find something similar, though smaller and more affordable; and she'd heard every word about his dream car, and found a used one that had some of the features he seemed to treasure so dearly, even though it meant she had to learn stick shift in case they needed to trade cars; she'd made every effort to schedule dinner with the Schuesters who meant so much to him, and their friends whenever they came to visit. How could he possibly believe that she didn't listen, didn't care?

"—and now this," he finished, voice half –choked with sobs, "I can't do this anymore." He looked at her for a long moment. "I just think we need some time apart."

And that had been the beginning of the end. She'd gone to stay with her fathers, who'd been so good about not saying "I told you so" as she cried over the destruction of their young relationship. She'd still called Will and Emma's every day, begging them to ask Finn to consider couple's counseling, therapy, anything.

But Finn was stubborn when he wanted to be. He was reported around town no longer wearing his ring (though friends also told her he was often seen red-eyed from crying and lack of sleep), and he wouldn't talk to her, even when she all but stalked him to force them in the same place together.

Six months later, she broke down and gave in, finally submitting her signature to the papers he'd been pushing her way since the apartment went empty. Her dad had gotten them through the system quickly, and her daddy helped her repaint the apartment to an appropriate shade of boring and put it back into the hands of the landlord.


	2. His Girl Took a Week's Worth of Valium

**A/N: Mentions of attempted suicide and drug abuse. don't like, don't read.**

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><p>Puck drove his truck into the parking lot and jumped out, walking toward Sunshine's Daycare. He took a deep breath of cold winter air, and appreciated the fact that it wasn't Lima air (even if it was only Akron),<p>

"Hello Mr. Puckerman!" a blonde eighteen-year old greeted him, and he shot her a smirk. She giggled, then gestured for him to make his way to the playroom, shouting "May—Mr. Puckerman's here!"

May didn't even get a chance to respond before a rambunctious four-year old crashed full-speed into his legs. "!" Beth screamed happily as she hugged his jeans.

"Hey, baby girl!" he replied, scooping the tiny blonde into his arms and lifting her high above his head before setting her gently on his shoulders. "How'd she do today, May?" he asked the dark woman in a bright yellow dress approaching him.

"Girl is spirited, just like every day," the woman laughed. "but today we managed to keep her only chasing Brad and Tim, and stealing four cookies." Puck raised his brow at the words. "Which she did share with her friends, so at least there's something sweet in that wild child."

Puck laughed again, then thanked May and Jenna as he bundled up his girl and headed out to the parking lot. As they made their way home he was deep in thought about what awaited them, only stopping to smile and laugh at the bubbly blonde regaling her day to him.

He walked into the house (yes, they had a small house, thank you very much) and smiled as he smelled spaghetti and meatballs cooking. Italian food generally meant a good day, so he helped Beth out of her winter clothes and followed her as she ran into the kitchen.

Dinner was good, but Puck knew that half-distracted look in Shelby's eyes. Something was on her mind, and though she laughed and gave all the focus she could to her daughter, part of her thoughts were on a future conversation he could feel coming like a blizzard.

And then there it was. "Sweetie, why don't you go watch TV while Daddy and I clean up?" the dark brunette told Beth as she brushed her cheek gently. The girl complied easily, only stopping long enough to hug her father tightly before rushing to the living room.

"So today was okay?" he finally asked, after five minutes of clearing dishes and cleaning the kitchen in silence.

"I saw Dr. Barker," she told him. "He said I was doing quite well; that I was doing great with honing in on my triggers and redirecting my emotions."

Puck didn't say anything (he was never sure he should ask her to explain the specifics of her and Dr. Barker's talks), but nodded to show he was listening.

"We talked about you today," Shelby said quietly, and Puck couldn't help it: he let out a quiet groan. Nothing good ever came from their discussions about _him_.

"Don't be like that," she admonished. "We just were discussing our current…_situation_, and Dr. Barker wondered if this was such a good idea, with my progress."

_Their current situation_. Puck gritted his teeth. He didn't want to be the one to point out to the good doc that the reason they were in their current situation was because of his patient; that the reason he wasn't dating anyone, even though they'd stopped being a couple and slept in separate rooms, was because he was terrified he'd set her off. That something would happen and Beth would be alone, or worse, _here_….

"He thinks that maybe I should move out, maybe closer to the facility," she finished. "Beth could stay here for the stability, and I could work on standing on my own."

"So you're just going to ditch her?" Puck asked incredulously. "Start a great new life somewhere and forget the four-year old in the other room that goddamn adores you?"

"No, Noah," Shelby countered angrily. "I still want to see her, spend time with her. It's not _her_…"

Those were the words that stung the worst: it wasn't Beth that was killing Shelby—it was _him_. He'd been nothing but faithful, nothing but there for her, and yet _he_ was the reason they couldn't be a family.

"I'm not staying in this goddamn house if you move out," he replied, running his hand down his face in frustration.

"She needs stability—"

"She needs her parents! She needs her mom to stay alive and out of the fucking medicine cabinet!"

He knew he shouldn't have said it the moment the words came out. She looked crushed by his mentioning it, and, not for the first time, he wondered if he should have gotten some goddamn therapy of his own.

"I can't do this anymore, Noah," she finally said softly. "I've tried, but every time I see you, I keep thinking you're..." she took a deep breath, and so did he. She was a jealous bitch, and she knew it- there was no point in either of them hashing it out again. "I'm not getting over this soon," she tried again, "and I don't have to tell you that we as a couple just aren't working."

The younger adult sat down in the chair defeated. "I tried," he stated, almost pleading.

He heard Shelby walk towards him, her soft hands gently cupping his chin as she knelt and raised his eyes to hers. "I know. It's not your fault Noah; it just is what it is."

The next month Shelby had moved into an apartment close to a halfway house. Puck put the house on the market the week after, and he and Beth took off for Columbus.


	3. We Fell Through the Ice When We Tried

**A/N: So this is supposed to be the last part, but the ending is kind of vague. However, I really have no thoughts on a continuation of the story, so...for now, I guess this is it. Thanks for reading!**

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><p>Rachel Berry bowed graciously to the decent applause she received as she finished her set, then retreated to the back room where she changed back into slacks and a blouse before finding a place at the bar. She always allowed herself one martini on performance nights; Kurt insisted the reward system was imperative for starving artists.<p>

"Still not lacking for pipes," a familiar voice commented, sidling up next to her.

The tiny brunette looked up, the face next to her causing her face to widen in happy surprise. "Noah!" she exclaimed, smiling widely. "It's been years—I'm so happy to see you. What are you doing here?"

"Just rolling through Berry—I mean Hudson," he told her, pausing to reflect. "Wow that sounds weird."

Rachel's head ducked down as she blushed. "Actually, you were right the first time," she corrected him quietly. "It's Berry."

She kept her face down so she wouldn't have to see his face double back toward her, eyebrows shooting up incredulously. She knew that she and Finn were the couple that everyone expected to stick it, and she tensed for the pelting of questions that always seemed to follow since their initial separation, and subsequent divorce, finalized just six months ago.

"Well, huh," was all he replied, to her surprise. She waited a moment, then looked up as he sipped his drink. "So what are you doing now then?"

She smiled, grateful for the reprieve from her failed marriage. "Well, I've recently transferred schools—Music Major in NYU, same as Blaine—and rooming with him and Kurt while Kurt finishes his Musical Theater Program in NYADA." She'd been surprised how easily Kurt had taken her in when she'd shown up at his door, but her ex-brother-in-law had been nothing but supportive of her move, insisting that if Finn had ever loved her he would get over it and be happy for her. "And in the meantime, I get extra practice and a little income doing this," she gestured to the small stage to the side of the facility.

"Singing lounge acts though? I figured you for nothing less than Broadway," he pushed.

"I've received an internship as an assistant for the Into The Woods production come summer," she told him, choosing to not tell him how many auditions she'd already gone to and been rejected from. "I'm hoping that it will help establish contacts, which will help me on my way to stardom."

"And yourself?" she asked, taking a sip of her martini. "What have you been pursuing since graduation?"

Puck ran a hand through his shaved head—he'd gotten rid of the mowhawk years ago. "Construction, mostly—never really was the studious type, so I decided to skip the higher learning. I'm actually helping out a contractor buddy of mine down in Jersey right now, so I decided to check out the Big Apple while I was here."

As the night wore on, they continued babbling about nothing. Rachel proudly told Puck about Kurt's upcoming workshop as dentist Orin Scrivello in an Off-Broadway production of Lil' Shop of Horrors, and Blaine was assisting a producer at a small record label. Puck, in turn, told Rachel all about Beth starting school and being just as much of a badass as he ever was, but with an angelic smile that would let her get away with murder.

"So what happened Berry?" Puck finally asked, downing the last of his newest shot. "I mean, last I heard you and Hudson were having your happy ever after thing back in Ohio."

"Happy endings are only interludes in between Acts, Noah," she replied, smiling dryly. "Haven't you ever watched Sondheim?"

"Uh, no," he told her.

"I did love him," she continued, more to herself than the boy sitting next to her. "I did—I gave everything I had to that relationship, adjusted my whole life so that it became ours. But I couldn't _completely_ ignore what I wanted, what I thought was right—could I?" Rachel stayed away from details when she talked about her and Finn—especially now, when the boy that worked harder than anything for a child that people tried to keep away from him was the one sitting in the next chair, listening to her story.

"Gotta do what you gotta do, Rache," he told her, signaling the bartender for another drink.

"What about you?" she parried back. "You didn't ride off into the sunset with your forbidden rose?"

He knew she purposely wouldn't bring up Shelby's name; it was still kind of weird that Puck had been serious with Rachel Berry's mother, regardless of her MILF status.

"Nah;" he answered, tilting back his glass. "Once we realized that the only thing we had that really clicked was Beth, it just became…harder. Too hard." He didn't mention the bad times—they'd gotten through them in the end, and Shelby was fine now—they'd figured out a good custody arrangement so Beth would see them both and it seemed to be working okay. Berry didn't need to know. Nobody really needed to know.

"I'm sorry, Noah; I know you cared for her."

"It's fine—really," he insisted. "She's doing good, teaching music and theater and shit."

The two sat in silence for a minute, pondering their drinks, until the petite brunette scoffed.

"How does it happen that you're always around when the worst moments of my life are occurring?" Rachel asked, downing the last of her shot.

"Luck, I guess," he replied, smiling down on her tiny form. He grinned a little wider at her involuntary laugh. "Come on, Berry; we're a couple of hot Jews destined to continue running into each other. It's God's way of making sure neither of us gets permanently derailed."

Rachel smiled at that idea—that besides Kurt (and by extension Blaine) there was someone out there destined to continue looking out for her. "Then I suppose here's to friendship," she commented, raising her empty glass.

"God's ultimate buddy system," he agreed, clinking his own to hers.


End file.
